15 December 2017- “It is easier, pleasanter and more advantageous professionally for barristers to advise, represent or defend those who are decent and reasonable and likely to succeed in their action or their defence than those who are unpleasant, unreasonable, disreputable, and have an apparently hopeless case. Yet it would be tragic if our legal system came to provide no reputable defenders, representatives or advisers for the latter.” A reminder that no lawyer can win all their cases.
15 December 2017- Hilary Clinton, when asked about her marriage, said “we certainly had dark days in our marriage. You know all about them- and please consider for a moment what it would be like for the whole world to know about the worst moments in your relationship. There were times that I was deeply unsure about whether our marriage could or should survive. But on those days, I asked myself the questions that mattered most to me: Do I still love him? And can I still be in this marriage without becoming unrecognizable to myself- twisted by anger, resentment, or remoteness? The answers were always yes. So I kept going”.
11 January 2018- Gwyneth Paltrow, announcing her marriage, said “This issue is about love, the way it sometimes eludes us, can disappoint us, excite us, leave us in tatters or feeling delightfully fed. It is anything but binary. It is mostly gray area, full of subtlety, and sometimes very painful. Personally, at midlife, I have tried to accept how complex romantic love can be. I have decided to give it a go again, not only because I believe I have found the man I was meant to be with, but because I have accepted the soul-stretching, pattern-breaking opportunities that (terrifyingly) are made possible by intimacy.”
26 February 2018- Jennifer Aniston, in announcing her divorce/separation, through her publicist, said “In an effort to reduce any further speculation, we have decided to announce our separation. This decision was mutual and lovingly made at the end of last year. We are two best friends who have decided to part ways as a couple, but look forward to continuing our cherished friendship.” This is rare and well nigh impossible for Singaporean couples, especially when there are children and issues of division of matrimonial assets involved.
7 August 2018- Baroness Shackleton, a leading UK divorce lawyer said that divorce is “a practical arrangement which has to survive to rear children, and it’s for children, who are the very sad losers when parents are selfish and decide that their own desires override those of their family,”
8 April 2019- Thought it was a nice divorce announcement by Jeff Bezos (before the revelations that came on subsequently)- “We felt incredibly lucky to have found each other and deeply grateful for every one of the years we have married to each other. If we had known we would separate after 25 years, we would do it all again. We’ve had such a great life together as a married couple… Though the labels might be different, we remain a family, and we remain cherished friends.”
7 April 2020- ”The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~ Steve Maraboli
We have all been through the five stages of grief, namely denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It is painful, it takes a lot of courage and it takes time just like most things in life. The way to move forward is to let go and let live, forgive but never forget. Learn from past mistakes and thank them for teaching you a good life lesson. Cut off the negativity and keep people you love close to you. It is time to reconnect with your friends and family; don’t live in your own pity story. By letting go, you are also letting yourself go. You may feel that you have lost your entire world at this point in time, but time heals all wounds. You will get over it and ready yourself for even bigger challenges to come.